how great thou art.

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works thy hand hath made,

I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed;

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When through the woods and forest glades I wander

and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;

when I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,

and hear the brook, and feel the gentle breeze;

And when I think that God his son not sparing,

Sent him to die - I scarce can take it in,

That on the cross my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation

And take me home- what joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow in humble adoration

And there proclaim, my God, how great thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

"How Great Thou Art" translated by Stuart K. Hines

This, my friends, would be one of my favorite hymns. As a child of a music teacher that grew up in piano lessons and children's choir singing and playing hymns, they will always be my favorite of any kind of music.

As an art major I was taught to train my eye to recognize anything that is pleasing to the eye. I was taught to see shadows, light, shapes and form my own opinion of what was beautiful, inspiring, ugly or just outright amazing. I've been to museums, critiques, exhibitions and I've even had my own work judged. I've seen timeless masterpieces and modern art, sculptures, photographs, paintings, and drawings. I love art. I love everything about it.

But something I love more than art is nature. I love looking out my window and seeing trees and grass and I love hearing birds sing (just not at 2am, which they have been quite diligent about doing lately.) I love riding with the windows down, feeling the air and smelling the grass and honeysuckle. Recently I've enjoyed the beautiful weather and then the rain, wind and even the bad weather. Don't get me wrong, I love pretty weather, but my favorite day of the year is the last cool rainy day. Not the one where the humidity comes right after. The day when everything is still soaked and there's a tiny brisk breeze. And you have to be careful to catch it and realize it, because once it's gone, it's not coming back until fall. That's my favorite day. 

The one thing I love most about nature though, is that it's all beautiful. There's no debating it. There's no critiquing it. There's no excuses and there's no reasons why or why not. It's beautiful because God spoke and it came into existence. Every bit of it. The stars and the mighty thunder, the birds and mountains and breeze, it all represents the power of God. It shows his beauty and love. Who else could make a rain cloud appear from a blue sky to create a storm and then follow up with a colorful rainbow? It's all in his handiwork, his majesty, his love for us.

But that's not all that represents his love. His love is represented better with a cross and nails. It's better realized by promises made and promises fulfilled. It's the kind of love that's better seen through a sinless man giving his life for billions of sinful people. It's seen in the faces of the people who found the empty grave. And it's the love that will be in the embrace of the Savior when one day we will fall on our knees and rejoice with him in heaven. 

God's love is surrounding us all. It's in the nature. It's even in the talent God gave the artist to make the masterpiece. It's in relationships of families and friends. It's in the miracles of life, the expecting mother's baby, the premature newborn that is now a grown adult, the family persistently waiting for their adopted child. It's in the miracles of medicine. It's in the one's who give second chances. It's in the one's who gave the first chance.

 It's in the one who gave his life. It's love.

The nails didn't keep him on the cross, love did.  

Happy Easter and much love.

coming to an end.

Today was officially my last day of my junior year in college.

As happy as I am to be done with classes, except for finals, and be so close to summertime, I'm also a little apprehensive about the future, if you can't tell from my rambling of nervousness and worrying about being so near graduating in such a bad job market. However, this year has been one of the most challenging years I've ever had as far as actually learning how to live on my own, take care of myself and care about my happiness as much as others.

 I learned a lot about other people as much as I learned about myself. I've learned that there are people who think about themselves more than other people and consider a friendship as something in which other people can do things for them. And there are other people who are extremely loyal to being true friends, there are people who are there for you no matter what. They are there to help you out and cheer you up when you're having a bad day, and have fun with you when you're having a good day. I've learned to live with these people, look for the best in each of them and how to deal with their tough moments just like they have mine. These people have changed my life and helped me enjoy the best years of my life even more than I have before.

I've also learned more about my relationship with Christ this year. I came to a time in my life where I actually doubted God's plan for my life. I experienced high highs and low lows in my walk with God. I've learned that the only way I will be able to make it through the rest of my life is to rely and trust in what God has planned for me. I have learned that the Gospel of Christ is something that is my responsibility to spread and that sometimes the only way to communicate what God wants me to say to others is just to pray and let him speak through me. I'm learning that I have to stand up for my religion, something that is challenged everyday on UAB's campus. I've learned that my "religion" has become more of a relationship.

So as the end of my second to last year of college comes to an end, i can only say I'm extremely thankful for all the great experiences I've had, both bad and good. As unsure as I am about the future, I do know that I am much closer to knowing what I'm going to do once I graduate. This year has been one of the most fun, stressful and eventful years of my life and I can't wait to see what else God has in store in my future.

So to all the people who have made this year everything it has been, my parents, friends, coaches and teachers... thank you for everything. You are amazing and I love you all. :)

let's live for today.

When I think of all the worries people seem to find

And how they're in a hurry to complicate their mind

By chasing after money and dreams that can't come true

I'm glad that we are different, we've better things to do

May others plan their future, I'm busy lovin' you.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

Live for today

We were never meant to worry the way that people do

And I don't need to hurry as long as I'm with you

We'll take it nice and easy and use my simple plan

You'll be my lovin' woman, I'll be your lovin' man

We'll take the most from living, have pleasure while we can.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

And don't worry 'bout tomorrow, hey, hey, hey

Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today

Live for today

Hey, hey, hey, Grass Roots, I think I love you. 

sleep > wedding.

So it's wedding season. And if you didn't know or if you live under a rock... there's a big wedding coming up! The Royal Wedding! I was pretty excited about this coming up and my friend Liz and I even discussed putting on a royal wedding viewing party... until we realized that the wedding is 11am uk time which is 4am-ish US time. So congrats Kate and William, but while you get hitched I'm gonna be catchin' some z's.  

I did look up some royal wedding ideas before we found out about the time, and honestly it would be super fun and cute. But in the world of a college student during finals... sleep > wedding in another country. 

No idea where I found this at... totally Marie Anotoinette-ish.

Funny wedding party decor. 

This is how HGTV gets their royal wedding on.

There would have to be some royal-ish hats present.

like this one. haha. just kidding!

If you haven't seen that rock. bling!!!

ps. I totally have a minuscule sized ring like this! 

So for those of you planning your 4am viewing party! Enjoy! The only way I'll be there with you is if I'm still up cramming. ha. The joys of being in college. woohoo!

Midweek Music Obsession.

So my Pandora's been kicking it old school lately, and I'm kinda diggin' it. :)

"It's time we stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down"

For What It's Worth... Buffalo Springfield

All You Need Is Love... The Beatles

No Rain... Blind Melon

and as an homage to the WSP concert last week....

Big Wooly Mammoth... Widespread Panic

Enjoy!

an ode to the social network.

I found these on More Design Please. A fabulous little blog with all kinds of art, decor and diy posts. I have a feeling that whoever runs this little blog and myself could be bff's. Mostly because of their love of great design that I also share. I realize I'm an ex-art major that couldn't finish the graphic design program... but who says I still can't love some good design? And anything that mixes vintage design with my favorite secret obsessions? #Winning.

here's to home.

I love Birmingham.

love it. 

The past few years of living here and going to school here have been amazing. I've met the most amazing people, learned so much about life, school and other people and myself. I have not once regretted coming to UAB or Birmingham since I moved here 3 years ago. 

But right now, Birmingham is not home. 

and I need home. 

It's beautiful here, and I love going to school here, but I'm overly excited about going home, home for the summer. 

I've always told my parents I would never move back home again, not for school, not for summer and not after I graduated for sure. It's become a sort of threat from my parents to bring me home, like taking my keys away was in high school. 

"If you mess up your bank account again...." "If you don't go to rehab after your surgery...." "Find a job or....."

And the funny thing is it always worked. 

I came home the summer after my freshman year and this was my life.....

That summer consisted of having my identity changed to "Miss Carrie" or "the teacher the you can hug to get more goldfish and peanutty bars", "the all-time pitcher in kickball", even "the worst person in the world" after a 15 minute quiet time due to yelling in the bathrooms. Every afternoon I was showered with hugs and "I love you, see you tommorow's".

But honestly, I was miserable. I got up at 7, went to class went to work at 1 until 6 and went home and went to bed. I had no friends at home since they all stayed at school that summer, and I didn't even have time to see my friends that were at home. I stayed in Birmingham last summer so I could "escape" Dothan, but then I was in Birmingham with no friends and working 9-5 everyday. I do realize this is the normal life for every grown-up, but I've found out I'm not quite ready to go there on my own.

During one of my frustrated calls to my mom earlier this year I broke down and asked if I could come home this summer. I never thought I would ever say those words, and I don't even know if it will be first or last time I do say them. All I know is that right now, this is what I need.

So this summer, I'm taking it back home. It won't be filled with the precious faces above, but I'm determined to make it one filled of happiness, family and several beach trips. Since I moved to Birmingham 3 years ago I've found it's way too easy to concentrate on the negative. This summer I'm determined to work on focusing on the positives of life and learning more about myself and what makes me happy. I need a slow-paced life again. I need home-cooked meals, or at least nightly dinner with my parents. I need more hugs from my dad and seeing my mom's smile on a daily basis. I'm looking forward to the future and honestly, this may be the last time I can spend every night of the summer at home in my bed, living 90 miles from PCB.  I've gotten an internship with the local TV station and hopefully I'll be closer to finding out what I really want to do with life. 

So here's to home and being happy. See ya soon, Dothan. :)

spreading sunshine.

I found these while I was stumbling one day. Enjoy!

50 ways to spread sunshine.

1. Send a hand-written thank you card to someone.

2. Give a compliment about your waiter/waitress to his or her manager.

3. Hold open a door for someone.

4. Have a conversation with a homeless person.

5. Compliment a co-worker.

6. Pay for the person behind you in the Starbucks drive-thru.

7. Clean out your clothes and donate to a local non-profit.

8. Send flowers to someone anonymously.

9. Leave an encouraging note in a library book.

10. Ask an elderly person about their childhood.

11. Be a courteous driver.

12. Mentor an at-risk child.

13. Mow a neighbor’s lawn.

14. Donate blood.

15. Introduce yourself to a new coworker/classmate/church member.

16. Share inspirational quotes.

17. Write letters of appreciation to organizations that serve your community.

18. Leave happy post-its for strangers to find.

19. Smile.

20. Appreciate the people who support you.

21. Treat everyone the same– from your best friend to your mom to postal worker.

22. Release your expectations of other people. Allow them to be who they are.

23. Be genuine.

24. Forget yourself.

25. Delight in every day.

26. Flatter people.

27. Tell people how much you like them.

28. Share your lunch.

29. Fill a parking meter.

30. Volunteer somewhere. Anywhere.

31. Seek forgiveness.

32. Do your best.

33. Love yourself.

34. Dream big.

35. Tell someone why you love them.

36. Check in on someone who is lonely.

37. Stay curious.

38. Adopt a pet from the humane society.

39. Tell your boss that he/she does a great job.

40. Renew an old friendship.

41. Donate toys/books to a hospital.

42. Give someone a sheet of brightly colored stickers.

43. Make eye contact.

44. Take someone’s picture and send it to them.

45. Don’t think about other people’s definitions of success, beauty or happiness.

46. Create spaces for others to enjoy.

47. Make beautiful art.

48. Send unexpected gifts.

49. Be enthusiastic.

50. Love your life and everyone in it.

patience problems.

So I'm not sure if any of you have ever had this weird thing that happens when everything around you starts revolving around the same subject, but you have no idea until everything comes full circle... and then you there's this big strange, overwhelming epiphany. Well I've had one of those lately. 

Life lately has been pretty nice. Besides the pre-Easter rush at work, my life has been pretty as close to perfect as you can get. good grades, kites, beautiful weather, concerts, friends...everything has been lovely. But I've also been secretly worrying myself away on the inside (per-usual nearing-graduation-college student), thinking about internships, jobs, papers, the summer, the fall, spring, next summer, and the year after and after and after, but then there's my future husband?, kids?, my family and their health and my health, keeping jobs and paying for houses and bills and this and that.... you get my point. My brain is a constant worry station. I've gotten pretty good at hiding it on the outside, but in my head those wheels are just spinning away. If I could just see my future... now. Life would be grand.

 In Sunday School we started talking about what age we would choose if we could stay that age our entire lives. I picked 19, so I would always be in my freshman year of college. Ohhh... that year was straight-up-paradise. No job. Daily midday naps. Easy classes. New friends. A new city. Free weekends. Tons of Freedom. and money every two weeks from the parents. ahhh. life was good. And if that was possible, boy I would do it in a split second. 

But sadly, it's not. I'm dealing with real "grown-up" life. I'm about to jump into the ocean of cut throat employers and selfish co-workers, and the possibility of being an unemployed journalist working at a children's clothing store in Homewood for the rest of my whole entire life. It freaks me out. 

Which then translates to my patience-problem. I hate waiting. I hate possibilities. I hate hanging in limbo not knowing if something is 100% for absolutely sure or not. I hate not knowing if I will be able to land a big internship next year or even a job after that. I especially hate not knowing what I'll be doing this time next year, graduated or not. 

So when we read James 5 on Sunday morning patience, patience, patience was the word. But not only patience, but steadfast endurance. I find that I connect more with the "endurance" part of patience than I actually do the sitting and waiting part. I've always been taught endurance my whole life, whether it's with twirling, playing soccer, running or putting up with teasing from my two brothers. I can put up with almost anything for a good amount of time. Endurance. I've got it.

Patience. That's another story.
I absolutely cannot stand waiting for anything for a long amount of time. I just can't do it. I find that I get real excited for something, obsess over it for 3 or 4 days and then when I realize it will take some waiting time, I usually drop it and never pick it back up again. This is what I define my patience-problem as. It's probably my biggest pet peeve about myself. And something I wish I could change, but it takes time to change. And then it comes full circle. I love seeing results. Whether it's a finished art project, my tryout routine the day before tryouts, a 15 page paper printed out and ready to turn in. I love seeing concrete products. This may or not be the reason I've never had a plant live longer than 2 weeks.

I realize everything in life takes time.  It takes time to find the perfect job, the perfect house in the perfect city. It takes time to find the perfect person to marry and then it takes time to get to know them. Life takes time. I've found it's just that it takes time to get to the place that takes time to get to the next place that takes time. Life never slows down. Life never stops. So then why does it seem like it takes so long to get to a final product? Why does the possibility of graduating next year scare me to death? It will get here eventually. It's just all the little things between April 21, 2011 and May 8, 2012 that could happen that knot my stomach up. If I knew what was coming I could put up a detour route, go around it and save my self all kinds of hurt, heartbreak and failure. If I didn't have to wait, I wouldn't have to wait to find out why I can't figure out what I want to do with my life and my future.

So when I was talking to my dad for my interviewing class the other night, everything he said gave me that little epiphany. Every question I asked revolved back to what else? than patience. What did you learn most in college? - to study. and have patience. What have you learned most from mom? - unconditional love and patience. What has your job taught you? - probably umm patience. What has having kids taught you? - definitely patience. Is your life different than you thought it's be? -Nope. It's everything I wished for. It just took some time and patience to figure it out.

So there's no escaping it. Time goes on. It never stops and life will go on. It just takes patience to get there. Whether I graduate in May or December, twirl next year, apply for an internship in NYC or LA, move away from home or move back to Dothan for a while, it's gonna take time to get there. And it can't happen now. Lord knows I'm not ready for the "real world" yet. I've only got a little over a year until I get there, so I can only tell myself to thank God for the little time I have left in school, learn as much as I can and prepare myself for the next step, whatever it may be. Life will come and changes will come. it takes patience to get there, and maybe I'll learn patience while I'm waiting for everything to pan out.

In the end, I just want to look back at life and be able to say "It's everything I wished for... too." It'll just take some time and patience to figure everything out. 

life is good.

Here's the long promised pictures that have been coming for a few days of one of the best weekends ever. :)

first up! flying kites. :)

 

So Friday afternoon my brother called me and told me we had VIP tickets for the Widespread Panic concert that night... for free! I'm not your usual "spread head" as the term goes, but who doesn't love good music, dancing, glow sticks and being in a room with thousands of other incredibly happy people? 

No wonder these guys have such a following, the concert was the best therapy session I could imagine.

 

my best friends.

first, but definitely not last.

Later that night I met my friends at a friend's bowl-dancing birthday party, had girls night on Saturday and then on Sunday went to supper club cookout and buddy's birthday! 

(didn't get any pictures of the rest of it... oops!)

Ohhhh. life is so good. 

let it be.

cliche, but seriously. these guys got it right.

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, ..... 

you are a child of God.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, 

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

 We are all meant to shine, as children do. 

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

 It is not just in some of us;

 it is in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

 ~Marianne Williamson

my favorite weather...

Short and sweet. 

Today was beautiful.

Absolutely b-e-a-utiful!

It was kinda one of those days you walk outside and just think "hey God, you're awesome."

In fact it's been so amazing this week that my friends and I planned on flying a kite this afternoon after our classes, and although the wind was a little shy at first it was a total success! 

My camera uploader has an attitude right now... but i promise I'll update soon. :)

little miss one big mess.

So i can't say that I've been able to post very much in the past week, mainly because I haven't had an extra minute to rest...but I can say that the most stressful week of my year... tryouts! are over! Everything went great from the twirling to the amazingly cute outfit my mom made... besides a little last minute unexpected hip pain and an emergency cortizone shot, they're over and now I'm looking forward to getting to twirl my fourth season at UAB.

As excited as I am for getting to continue to twirl in college and even this year, I've started thinking a lot about my future, and more specifically what exactly I'm going to do when I graduate. For the past few weeks I've been battling whether I should graduate next spring or next fall, whether I should twirl an extra semester, even if I should really twirl this year. And on top of graduating, I'm even more apprehensive about the biggest worry of graduating... finding a job. And honestly, I can't even tell you that I'm even near finding any kind of conclusion to these questions. 

Just like every other time I have a break down, I can call my mom and dad... the only people that will listen to me ramble and whine and cry more than any person ever should. And just like every other time I call crying about being frustrated that I don't know what will happen in a week, a month or a year from now they calmly listen to me and then console me by telling me to quit worrying and just trust in God.

Little Miss done on love, 
Little Miss I give up, 
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore

But the best part of the current questioning/breakdown situation... it's not just school right now, but more like every part of life. Whether it's school, family, finances, friends and relationships or just hard decisions in general, life just stinks sometimes. I'm slowly finding out that life really never does slow down, it never gets easier and the only way to get through it is to look for the best of what's around.  

Little Miss checkered dress, 
Little Miss one big mess, 
Little Miss I'll take less when I always knew so much more

I've learned to just keep telling myself that every decision I make is just helping me make it to the next hard decision. Eventually making those hard decisions, learning when to say yes and when to say no, when to cut something off and when to wipe off the tears, pick up my head and keep continuing on, will eventually lead to something rewarding and totally worth all the hard times. It's happened before, so I know it will happen again.

Little Miss do your best, 
Little Miss never rest, 
Little Miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime it runs out

So when I was writing a paper today, thinking about all the things I normally constantly think about, a song by Sugarland came on my Pandora. After listening to the first few words I started the whole "I don't want to cry right now... but tears are coming... and I'm in public and people will stare... but I don't really care... but really why am I crying right now???" until I realized that every word was exactly my life right now. 

Little Miss you'll go far, 
Little Miss hide your scars, 
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

But the happy thing about this whole realization, is that eventually, and hopefully, everything is going to work out. I'm halfway done with school, I will graduate and one day I will find a job as a journalist. I will be able to twirl again, and even when my days of performing are over I will still be able to teach, not to mention look back on some of the most amazing memories and keep in touch with some of the best twirlers and people in general I've ever met. I've been blessed with an amazing family and friends that are always there for me, and even though some have slipped away over the years I've only met more and more great friends. Life is hard sometimes, but the best way to look at it is to look on the bright side, know what I want and know that God has a plan to make it happen.

Little Miss brand new start, 
Little Miss do your part, 
Little Miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, 
Sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win, 
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, 
 I'm okay, 

and it'll be alright again.